Paper Sailboat

It has been a long quiet while

2009-04-15T16:45:00.002-04:00

Hello.

I am hoping to revamp this place to make it a bit more.. up-to-date.. soon

Famous last words of any blog, I'm sure

especially ones that I have been running.

But those won't be the last words here,
since the plan is to include other artists in the area on these pages.. to showcase the incredible talent in this community

that is the hope

As an aside.. for those of you wondering what will become of In Blackout Cities

My feeling is that it is part of a pretty big story.. and I feel as though I am almost a novelist, imagining characters.. events.. and so I want to continue the story.. expand it

the plan is to create a sort of album triptych.. the first story in the series is

Dr. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People LP

the second chapter is

In Blackout Cities EP

(only five-six tracks from blackout cities will be used on this version)

the third, final chapter..

Everything is OK Now EP

everything will be released together in a digital bundle which I am working with Klaudio on.

This is very exciting, since there is much to do, and much already done. Hoping to go into a studio and have some piano elements properly recorded as well, with the very talented Sarah Magie.

All the best for now!
C

is done

2008-05-08T17:59:00.001-04:00

the record is mastered!

more soon

of mastering

2008-03-31T21:04:00.006-04:00

I have been looking for a good place in Kingston to learn of the inner workings of a studio environment, and I think I may have found such a place.

Leopard Frog Studio, located about 25 minutes out of Kingston, is owned and run by Chris Coleman and Ellen Hamilton, husband and wife, whom both are very dedicated to music and music recording. I spoke with Chris at length today and he seemed interested in the Blackout Cities project, and interested in my experience. It is my hope that I would be able to have a function in the studio on a volunteer basis to learn some of the workings.

As you may recall, I previously had mastered the record last fall in Ottawa at Little Chicago Studios by Tim Greencorn. I had gone into the studio with mixes that were being snapped together at the last minute, and in the spirit of anxiety, I made some radical changes that were not good for the record. If you're not happy going in to a studio, you will not be happy going out. I didn't even give myself enough time to figure out if I was happy or not.

Since then I have sorted the mixes, and rounded the set of songs. I have even attempted to master the songs myself, trying to get the right balance in sound. The results are pretty good, considering Google was my only real resource. Still, I would love to go beyond that, and really get into the studio and see how it is done. Chris, unlike Tim, seemed very willing to allow me to learn what goes on in the studio.

So, in April, I may have that opportunity!

11 days of silence

2008-03-24T18:32:00.008-04:00

it has been a busy time for me as of late, am busy working on music for Blue. Blue is ... well.. let me take something from the creators themselves:

"super-cool event
will be happening at The Artel on March 28th
BLUE is a continuation of YELLOW
previously revealed only 28 days before..
part of "The Primaries" this episode promises to
take you on a psychological ride "

it is an experiment in storytelling, and I am writing music to be used during certain portions of the storytelling. it is a story being told through narrative, puppets, video, paintings and music, which makes for a very rich experience. exciting.

one such piece I've been working on is titled Deconstruct, and you can listen to it on the right hand side of this page by clicking the play button.

how cool is it when quantum mechanics can be illustrated with Super Mario World?

"Still, we love when science is dumbed down to our level (that is, explained using video games we know and love). This video, for example, teaches Hugh Everett's multiverse concept, using 134 overlaid playthroughs of a Super Mario World hack."

from Nintendo Wii Fanboy

Christine Fellows, Nevertheless

2008-03-13T12:28:00.004-04:00

okay maybe it's a kneejerk reaction (that's the best kind of reaction), but I just brought this record home and it is amazing

you should check it out!

the flight of the conchords is a great series

2008-03-12T17:02:00.001-04:00

and here is why

it's garbage night

2008-03-12T13:04:00.003-04:00

garbage to the street!

going to spend the day indoors like a hermit today
fiddling away at music

getting things right takes a long time

I don't know how long because I haven't gotten there yet

someday perhaps

drums, they happen to be the most problematic thing to mix
mainly because my drums are shitty

a shitty sample can't be made good no matter how much you filter and bend it

however, it can be made OK

for the next one, I have some good ones to work with so far: Typhoid Mary, Deconstruct, Elephant Physics

to contrast with In Blackout Cities, Paper Sailboat #2 should have a more rhythmic presence

a song has finished rendering, I must get back to work. much to do.

upcoming albums in '08

2008-03-07T16:30:00.021-05:00

R.E.M., Accelerate (this one may be exceptionally good, check out Supernatural Superserious. While I do think the single isn't anything too special, what I've heard of the other songs on this piece are indeed very special. It's a short 35 minute record, out on April 1st.) update, March 24th: The album has indeed leaked and I have had a chance to spend some time with it. it is quite good, a very critical sharp sounding record. please check this one out
THE DEARS, as yet untitled album (I have no doubt that this will be amazing, I happen to think Murry Lightburn is probably the strongest Canadian singer-songwriter today. They were phenomenal when they came to Kingston last year. If you want an idea as to just how good they are live, track down a copy of "Thank You Good Night Sold Out", an official live album that shows what this band is capable of)
SAM ROBERTS, Love at the end of the world (don't expect much, "Them Kids", the first single released earlier this week, gives me a strong 'let's-do-the-same-thing-but-different-like' vibe, which I got a strong enough dose of after seeing them in concert)
COLDPLAY, Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends (Well, Coldplay and I don't always agree, don't always see eye to eye. When I read that the lead singer Chris Martin was having trouble coming up with lyrics for this new record, I snickered a bit. If you listen to any of their previous work, you will notice that lyrically they've never really been that strong. That said, the X&Y follow up [Twisted Logic still gives me chills] has been rumoured to have Timbaland collaboration as well as the backing of X&Y producer extraordinaire Brian Eno. I don't believe Timbaland collaboration makes for good music [Timbaland produced and collaborated on Bjork's Volta, which I found nearly unlistenable. Then again, I've found that with most of Bjork's albums], but who knows. It could be interesting.
WEEZER, unknown title (I have no idea what magical supernatual power keeps this band going. Harvard educated Rivers Cuomo seems to arouse unending creative tension [that's the worst kind of tension!] in the band. That said, this album is rumoured to be more experimental and free flowing, supposedly with 'longer compositions' and layered synthesizer instruments. This would be an interesting change since they haven't put out a song longer than 4:30 since their first record, back in 1994. The band once again is getting their work produced by Rick Rubin, who gave their past three albums his trademark meticulous loud stadium sound.)
MATTHEW GOOD, sometime in the fall after touring Matthew plans to re-enter the studio. Possibly with this mysterious new band that he has put together in Toronto.
THE JOHN PUNCH BAND, when they finally go into a studio something magical will happen and I said it first.

if you've got an album you're looking forward to, leave it in the comments, I will update this list with any information as it comes.

A disgruntled M-Audio customer

2008-03-04T12:37:00.013-05:00

so I took it upon to send M-Audio a good e-mail regarding their atrocious customer support over the past year, as follows:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My name is Christopher.

Why is there no 64 bit vista driver for my Delta 2496 audio card? I've had it in a box for over a year now because M-Audio is not providing driver support

Finally, Vista drivers are unvieled and wait.. something's missing. From what I can tell you only support the 32-bit version of windows which is destined to become obsolete. Why? What did I do to deserve this mistreatment?

I have been so patient.

Very sad. I imagine this isn't the first e-mail of this kind that you've recieved.

Sincerely,
Christopher
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what follows is the beautiful response that I got, which summarizes just about everything that I had envisioned about the M-audio customer support desk:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Christopher,

Vista 64-Bit drivers are in development and need to be test.

You can apply to our BETA testing program. Click on the following link for more information:

http://www.m-audio.com/index.php?do=support.betaprogram
(the beta program involves a pretty invasive application process, it's crap. it's practically a mailing list)

Again, thanks for your patience.

Regards,

Olivier Doyon
Tech Support
M-AUDIO Canada
1 866 872-0444 ext.222
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

update: so they want me to fax a non-disclosure agreement to the U.S. get into the beta program. this is extremely frustrating.

Chivalry might get you killed

2008-03-03T21:03:00.009-05:00

It is not cool to say you're cool: even so much as thinking it is dangerous. Your social butterfly wings might fall off if you do.

It is not cool to want to be more cool, because of the excess work involved.

Chivalry might get you killed, you know. So count that out too. Don't break your back for someone you don't know.

Using the term post-modern? That's not cool either. So don't title your blog "post modern" this or "post modern" that-- unless of course you're referring to how vague and indescript the term "post modern" really is. Then it's okay.

Cool?

If we follow Nintendo's example, we have a progression

Modern, Pre-nintendo

Post Modern, Nintendo

Supermodern

Modern 64

Moderncube

eventually leading to the most enigmatic term of them all,

the Emm

if you get the chance, check out Andrew Bird's cover of "How you gonna keep 'em down on the farm?"

it's been crazy

2008-02-29T12:00:00.004-05:00

sometimes I spend too much time thinking about what I should blog about, and less time actually blogging. it's been crazy, the past four days I've been flinging myself all over Kingston working with Klaudio at the art studio (Queen's Ontario Hall) and also to meet with organizers of the upcoming 'Primary Colours, Yellow, Blue, Red' show on Saturday evening. This is the first of three shows, Yellow, being the sunniest of what's ahead. It's a hard thing to describe, but you can expect a handmade puppet show, music, poetry, a live debate, and video. I find it sad that as one of the people responsible for creating the show I've been left in the dark for most of it, but I have been working all the same.

Last night was crazy fun, lots of drinking and karaoke down at Mybar. Met lots of interesting people, even joking with one that I was a "world class musician", to which I added, "you see, I have one fan [of my music] in Germany." She was understandably curious at that point. As I do with any good-in-my-own-mind joke that I tell, I had to explain everything.

It is true though, I have a fan of my music in Germany. Makes me proud.

Daring Video Details (DVD)

2008-02-19T20:23:00.006-05:00

the scaffolding is in its place, I've decided to go ahead and partner Paper Sailboat's first record, Blackout Cities, with a seven track DVD

Those videos to the right under "Motion Picture" are unfinished versions of what will be found on the DVD, and I will be finishing them shortly.

Menu Track: "The Escapist"

Asleep with the TV on
The Twin Cities
China Syndrome
Blackout Cities
Inertia

B-side Videos

Baby Eighty-one
Bipolar
'Alternate' Ending

The DVD itself, save for the title menu, will be entirely black and white.

So each of the 49 CD's that we'll have packaged, soon I hope, will also include a DVD.

powerthirst 1 & 2

2008-02-18T13:32:00.001-05:00

future inventions

2008-02-17T20:01:00.000-05:00

fashionable radiation shielding hat (great for cell phones)
a pill for buyer's remorse
magnet hover hockey rink
magnet hover hockey skates
8 bajillion pixel ultra mega high-def super thin Sears catalogue
a pill for buyer's remorse pill remorse
"fizzbin" card game

inspiration for today

2008-02-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

ailse #10, beverage, baby needs
ailse #9, chocolate, nutritional snacks, chips, stationary, confectionary
ailse #8, promo/seasonal
ailse #7, household, household paper, greeting cards
ailse #6, diabetic, incontinence, stomach, feminine, health support, first aid
ailse #5, family planning, diet & nutrition, oral care
ailse #4, deodorant, soap, cough & cold, grooming, pain relief
ailse #3, hair styling, eye & ear care, foot care, conditioner, shampoo
ailse #2, skin care, nail care, rialto, bath
ailse #1, hair colour, pantyhose, acne care, cosmetic bags, trial & travel, entertainment

“PRESCRIPTIONS” is the largest most notable text, as large if not larger than store name itself.

There are almost as many of these now as there are coffee shops in town. Is this the result of an aging population? Darkly I suspect it's the result of an alarmingly drug dependant one.

Pills scare the shit out of me. Seriously. I have a hard enough time taking an aspirin for a headache. About a year ago I was put on anti-depressants known as Effexor, and it damn near killed me. Originally I approached my family doctor for a referral to a councilor clinic, because I was exhibiting some anxiety-depression symptoms while I worked at a call center, living on my own. What I left with was a prescription.

I was a little bit confused and, given my past experience with prescription medication in my family, very apprehensive. Being told that I had a sort of chemical imbalance (an untested assumption by my doctor) that needed to be treated didn't help. So I filled the prescription and started on something called Celexa.

About a month after I had started the pill, I caught some sort of flu and was very sick for a weekend. In that time I stopped taking Celexa since I felt it was not helping and offhandedly associated it with the flu symptoms I had. “You should have consulted me first before stopping that medication,” my doctor said. “We’ll start you on something called Effexor. This is very different, and stronger, so we’ll start you on a low dosage and build up to a therapeutic dosage.” With that I had a new prescription and a renewed apprehension.

Being apprehensive, I did the usual thing one would do, and tried to find some answers through the means I had available. Sadly, nothing that I read on Wikipedia or in the Google search results had prepared me for the troubling issues that followed.

It’s strange because I never really did understand what effect the Effexor was having until months after I started taking it. You may think that it would be quite apparent how a foreign drug would change your being, but it took a very long time for me to realize what was going on. I would take it in the morning, and through the working hours I would be okay. What I would find, however, was at the point of the day where I was starting to withdraw would be point where I was most irritable and anxious. My poor roommates were witness to this. I would be explosive over trivial issues, and make things extremely difficult at home. Usually the evening of high-strung-feeling would be followed by a deep, powerful sleep that would be very hard to wake up from.

After several months of taking this medicine, and after repeatedly indicating to both the doctor and the psychiatrist that I was seeing that it was not helping, I was finally able to reduce the dosage and begin tapering off of the Effexor. It was very fortunate that I was able to move back in with my grandparents, since they were able to support me allowing my home situation to stabilize somewhat. The chaos in my life was being perpetuated by the medicine I was taking, which is a good way to define irony. Any time previously that I had stopped taking this medicine I had suffered quite a bit, going through immense withdrawal symptoms; at this time I was aware that I was not going to be able to stop taking Effexor without some serious help.

The drug had rendered me almost unable to cope with any stressors, such as the maniacs I would speak with on a regular basis at the call center I worked at; or the pressure I was under to find work from my grandparents after I had lost my job at the call center. I was in a great deal of debt, and positively unemployed.

All I could do was focus on my music and writing. I even started painting which I am proud of myself for doing so. Any time where I had stopped taking the drug with the intention of not taking it again would, within 36 hours, lead to extreme anxiety, sweating and this irritability which would be unbearable. My behaviours, loss of job, and lack of any ambition concerning anything but my music made things very difficult for my grandparents, leading them to deliver an ultimatum.

Things got pretty grim. I had to leave my grandparents because of what I was putting them through. I had a complete loss of temper over something to do with my two cats, after which I couldn’t face my grandparents. So I moved in with my mom, who was about the only person in the world who could offer any sort of consolation. I rode my bicycle out late at night, out to meet her where she was working the nightshift. After meeting with her, I ended up sleeping in the car that night until her shift finished.

Moving in with my mom was a very destructive decision on my part, since my mom and I have always had great difficulty living together. Still, it seemed necessary and perhaps was what started me on a path to a stronger self-identity. Despite the direness of my circumstances, I was more intent on stopping my dependency on Effexor.

While I do love my mom, and while at times she can be extraordinarily benevolent, the difficulty in living with her comes from her bouts of obsessive-compulsive anxiety, resulting usually in a loss of temper and the demise of any rational communication or behaviours. She tends to reopen old wounds in an effort to gain control and manipulate emotions. On the last weekend of my minimal dosage of Effexor, things grew to be rather difficult.

It felt like a nightmare where you try to scream at the top of your lungs but nothing comes out; mom started to get upset over something trivial and I tried to tell her that it wasn’t a good time, I wasn’t myself and that I felt like screaming on the inside. I was pleading with her to stop, though she did not relent, as often is the case when she gets on about something. And so I exploded at her, screaming and all. She called my grandparents to have someone come mediate. I vaguely remember throwing a phone into the apartment hallway while screaming.

I was brought back to my grandparents for a couple days where I was able to rest and recover from all the insanity. That was the end of my dependency on that pill. It wasn’t until months after all of this that I would speak with someone who revealed some interesting details about their experience with Effexor withdrawal.

What I was told was very reassuring. You see, Lisa explained that it’s not uncommon for those withdrawing from the medication to go to the hospital to spend a few nights, likening the experience to Heroin withdrawal. Lisa expressed a great deal of concern about the repercussions of a culture that puts pills before people.

Hindsight assures me that withdrawing from this pill could’ve been quite simple; I should’ve crumpled up the paper the original prescription was written on. I was able to speak with a councilor during these past few months, during all of this, which in his insight and compassion, reinforced the notion that I really, truly, only needed someone I could speak with.

There are those who need such medications to manage their lives. Learning that I wasn’t such a person took a great deal of time. There are no patches or quick fixes, despite what televised illusions would have you believe. As great as the tidal wave approaching you may seem, paddle.

It remains that this medication brought about some very troubling events about in my life that are difficult to speak of. My decision to start taking Celexa, then, Effexor, was based on a feeling that I had no other options. And that is exactly why I have written about all of this. Speaking about your problems with a professional may give you the clairvoyance you need to deal with what’s at hand. While not everyone who I’ve spoken to who has taken Effexor has had the difficulties with Effexor that I have experienced, there is still one thing I would like to emphasize. There are always other options.

Of Traffic Lights

2008-02-15T17:19:00.000-05:00

Anarchism says that there should not be oppressive traffic lights, that we must take our own chances when braving an intersection. Chaos!

Our social democracy says that the traffic lights are there because of the majority-held belief that they are necessarily for our safety. Thusly the traffic lights are distributed based on need.

A totalitarian regime might declare traffic lights unnecessary since public controlled vehicles are indeed a threat to the strength of the omnipotent regime itself. Instead, military tanks provide a sort of transit service to ferry the few people not mortified into staying indoors.

Suppose that’s why pencils have erasers. And why paramedics have defibrillators.